To My Cranky Neighbor

Dear Neighbor,

I heard you and your wife discussing my cat the other night when I went outside to my patio.

I am very sorry that my cat used your tree as his toilet. That is what cats do though and you threatening to call the police on him was a bit extreme don't you think?

Sincerely,

Mrs. Bertha Sue

P.S. My cat's name is SaulPaul, not Jebediah. Jebediah is my husband.