Dear Power Company,
I am writing to let you know I will not be able to send in a payment this month. I know I said I would last month but tragedy has struck my family and I must delay sending you my check. I hope you will understand.
See, my auntie's brother-in-law's mother had a pet raccoon. His name was Joe Bob Alexander. Any-who, Joe Bob saw something swimming in the kiddie pool my sister got for him and dove into the water.
That was a bad choice. That something swimming in the water was an exceptionally territorial fawn. I have to tell you, Disney has lied to us when they say all wild animals get along! That fawn ripped apart Joe Bob.
Animal control said it was more likely a mountain lion, but the only animal we saw in the area was the fawn and everyone knows Animal Control is part of the governments way of tracking you and your guns.
But I digress, the whole family really loved, Joe Bob and so we all got matching tattoos of him on our right buttock, the only place my uncle Erwin hadn't tattooed yet. Well, as you can imagine paying for a tattoo of a raccoon on the buttocks of nine people, my husband and I as well as our seven children, is rather expensive.
In exchange for letting my bill slide for a month, I've enclosed several coupons that I had been saving. There's one for $.50 off a package of Marlboros, though at the convenience store off highway 16 they'll let you use the same coupon for multiple packs, a coupon for $.75 off Steak-Umm, and $.35 off ham and cheese loaf.
Thank you for your patience, here's hoping we don't lose another pet to that vicious fawn,
Sincerely,
Mrs. Bertha Sue
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