To My State Representatives

Dear Senators and Representatives,

My husband has been talking about this wall a bunch of people want to get built.

I'm sure you all have a good plan on how to go about building it to keep people out of our country but I have an even better idea.

Why not just turn all the maps upside down? You know how you're supposed to when you drive down instead of up?

Just print the maps with 'Merica on the bottom. I'm sure it will fool everyone and will work at least as well as your wall idea.

Thanks for your time,

Mrs. Bertha Sue

To My City Council

Dear Council,

We have a serious problem in our community.

Aliens.

Yes, aliens.

I know some people think this should be a sanctuary city but we have got to stand firm!

Those aliens are awful, sneaking into our country in the middle of night, abducting our husbands and keeping them out all night! Doing horrible experiments on them!

My poor husband has to take three or four days off work after a night out with them.

Why just last week, he headed to the barn about seven in the evening to make sure the animals were okay for the night. He didn't come back inside until after four in the morning! When I asked him where he'd been he mumbled about those aliens kidnapping him again!

It's the tenth time this month!

Poor man! After an encounter like he had last week, he spends days just resting on the couch, watching Wheel of Fortune, and drinking beer to forget the horrendously invasive experiments they do to him.

I personally think any group that abducts our husbands and then anally probes them should be deported. Especially since I think my husband is starting to enjoy it.

Sincerely,

Mrs. Bertha Sue